Debt Paid

I have spent countless moments of my life feeling like I owed people something. I often felt myself getting anxious and feeling overly loyal to hurtful people. I have found that some people, often manipulative people, can pick up on that vulnerability and really make you feel like you owe them your whole life. We even sometimes feel this with our employers. We think, well they gave us this job, and this opportunity, and they write my paycheck, so if I don't do what they are asking I'll lose everything. To an extent we do owe our employer our best self, some of our time, and to do a good job, but we do not owe them our peace of mind, our every waking moment, and our whole life. I used to find myself feeling scared to say no. If I didn't want to travel so much or if something at work was taking me from important things in my personal life, I was made to feel like I was less if I didn't just do it anyway. I would be answering texts and emails after hours even though I wasn't a manager. I was made to feel like I had to or else I didn't measure up. I was allowing someone to say that my time wasn't worth anything. I've been around people that can make you feel guilty because you don't have the same opinions or lifestyle. That my fears and worries weren't realistic because they weren't realistic to them. I have felt less, I have felt anxious, I have felt like I owed it to them to just pull up my boot straps, suck it up, and miss out on what I personally wanted for myself. I think we do this becaue we feel like if it weren't for so and so we wouldn't be where we are, so we continue to let people make up our minds while we silently suffer. I will never forget the moment I decided I was done. I had suffered long enough. I am a stong independant woman and I realized you know what, they may have given me these opportunities or taken care of these certain things in my life, but they didn't put all the hard work in to make me successful. I did that. I worked hard to get where I am. I don't owe it to anyone, but myself. When we allow someone else to make us feel like they are the only reason we are where we are today, we are telling ourself that everything we have done to this point hasn't mattered. It has mattered, it still matters and it will always matter. Don't devalue yourself as a person for someone else to feel good about themselves. Learn that it is okay to say no when you feel it's not right for you or your situation. Understand that you had a hand in getting you where you are today. That wasn't all because of someone else. You showed up, you worked hard, and you succeeded. Remember, you are allowed to make deciions based on what's best for you. Your fears are real and your worries are real. Mark all those people you feel like you owed, as paid in full.